What do the women who manage to get promoted to senior levels do that’s different from the other hard-working, smart women in corporations?

Working to answer this question has been a recurring theme for me given the disproportionately low representation of females in senior roles in most companies. Figuring out what the senior women have done that worked for them is something I’ve explored from the perspective of diversity and inclusion champion, leadership development consultant, and executive coach.

I had the chance to interview business and human resources executives specifically about promotions at senior levels, what women could to do to make it over the threshold and to possibly even accelerate getting there. I used this data to craft a process that women can use to drive their career progress more intentionally. Since I’m getting ready to launch a course on that very topic, I've been enjoying reviewing those very interesting transcripts.

Here’s what came up for me as I considered that work. The process was good -- once I was back in corporate I had in fact used it to finally get myself promoted (wooo!). But it was kind of mechanical or antiseptic in a way, and looking back on what happened in real life during the year I was working on my promotion, I saw that the process was so much more personal – requiring a ton of trust and partnership with my manager, who was instrumental in helping me get over the finish line.

Coincidentally, I saw her today and we had some tea together. On my way to see her I was thinking for the first time about what my promotion process might have been like from her point of view. She had a lot on the line too, as she was staking her reputation in a complex and sometimes volatile environment to make the case for me to her manager, assign me projects that would push my performance to the level required, and engage other key stakeholders to get behind me. She didn’t know if I would rise to the occasion or not, so she had to take a leap of faith that I wouldn’t let her down.

It’s interesting I never viewed my advancement from my manager’s point of view before -- what was it like managing me, how predictable and easy was I to deal with  (typically not very), how safe was it to tie her reputation to mine. This is one of those things I wish I got much earlier in my career. I think I was finally able to show up differently for a manager because I already knew, trusted and respected this one, so I could act like a responsible partner in my development. By this time I had also cleaned up my relationship with my mother, which is a story for another day, but I think that made it possible to be different, and better, at work.

So if I had it to do over, I would start off my career considering my relationship with each of my managers like a negotiation. Even though I actually had close relationships with most of my managers, I did not put myself in their shoes, think about what they needed, and ensure whatever I was doing was a win-win for both me and them.

If you’re thinking about a possible promotion, taking on broader responsibilities, or being assigned key capability-building projects, I invite you to consider your relationship with your current manager as a critical first step. That relationship serves as an important platform for all this to occur. How aligned are you? How open are you to his or her feedback? How is the quality of your dialogue?

Check out my free cheat sheet for some great conversation starters with your manager. If you can’t answer all the questions on this checklist off the top of your head, I’d suggest authentically continuing to invest in that relationship to help enable the development and advancement result you want.

What role can you play to build a more trusting alliance?