He looks at me right in the eye and states it flatly. “You’re not doing anything.” Excuse me? I think I have misheard him. “You’re not doing anything.” At the moment I’m leading six committees, consulting to the executive of the business and designing and facilitating three-hour Diversity council meetings monthly. I protest.

“All that. Yeah. It’s not doing anything.”

I’m on a listening tour, meeting with each of the senior executives in my business to collect feedback. I’m sitting with the head of sales and I have to admit I did not see this one coming. He is one of the most important and vocal executives on the team. I am really confused. And pissed. In this moment he has given me an incredible gift, I just don’t realize it yet.

This when I first learned the importance of carefully managing your image. I really assumed that my contribution would be obvious to anyone who saw me working so hard and...

When I think about the executives I interviewed to learn more about the promotion and talent processes from their vantage point, one quote sticks out for me.

“Do not assume you’re doing a good job—find out whoever makes the decision about promotion and what they’re looking for – if it’s a panel decision – make sure you know who they are - make it easy for them—can’t be oblivious to how decisions are made and how to influence decision – must ask for it”

So he’s really suggesting three actions, and they all include playing a more active role than you might have thought – understand how talent decisions are made in your organization and who is involved in making them, find out how you’re perceived with regard to those criteria, and showcase to the decision makers great examples of how you are aligned to make it easy for them to weigh in in your favor. Another exec said something similar.

“Solicit...

Understanding the criteria for advancement and emphasizing your aligned attributes accordingly, or working hard and expecting to be recognized for your contributions. Which strategy do you prefer? Many women, myself not excluded, wittingly or unwittingly have employed the latter. I think we can do better.

Two work experiences illustrate the importance of understanding the system and positioning yourself appropriately. In one case I was responsible for Diversity at an Investment Bank where only a handful of women had risen to the highest level title, Managing Director. I was researching how promotions worked so that I could better support creation of more balanced leadership teams.

I found that a large committee reviewed the candidates who were up for promotion to MD each year. The committee broke the list into three groups: those who were an obvious no, an obvious yes, and the maybes. The candidates in the obvious yes and obvious no groups were barley discussed; the...